Me:  I want to mail this so it will be there in five days.

Ray:  We can’t do that.

Me: (Suspicious, because Ray had told the last two people he served ahead of me that he couldn’t do their things, either) Really?

Ray:  Yeah.  Go two doors down to Fedex, they can do it.

Me:  Okay.

Me:  I want to mail this so that it will be there in five days.

Fedex:  We can do that, but so can the mail, and it’ll cost you $50 here, and only $25 there, so you should probably do it there.

Me:  Oh, thanks.

Wait in line hoping not to get Ray again.

Me: I want to mail this so it will get there as fast as possible.

Ray: But not using expressmail.

Me: Is express mail the fastest way?

Ray:  Yes, with express mail it will get there in about two days.

Me: Well then I do want that.

Ray: Ooooooo….fine.

Me: (It’s February 25th) So that will get there on the 27th (I’m checking to see if it will get there on the 27th or 28th).

Ray:  It’ll get there on the third.

Me:  What?  You said two business days.

Ray:  Yes, two business days, so it’ll get there on the third.

Me: 28th?

Ray: THIRD.

Me:  But two business days is the 27th or 28th.  It’s Monday February 25th.

Ray: BUSINESS DAYS.

Me:  But Tuesday and Wednesday are business days.

Ray: Okay.

Me: Could you put it in the bucket so it goes out today?

Ray: I can try, but the mail is picked up at three (it’s 11:00 am).

Me: Okay.